Gail Signor shares her feelings:
For me, friendships with other women have always been virtually important. Ironically, I feel I have deprived myself of having a close female friend most of my married years. When I ask myself why, I come up with a few possible reasons.
For one, we’ve moved several times to different states. The challenges of maintaining a relationship are obvious. Secondly, with having small children, one hardly has time to come up for air! When I do, I usually think I must accomplish something tangible or I’ll be “wasting time.” I usually interpret these moments (if the dishes don’t need washing) as a good time to run to the grocery store and WHEN I come back and IF i have time I’ll make that phone call to a friend!
I have also found that as much as I need to get together with an understanding friend, I may not have the energy. Where little children are involved, it may not seem with the effort. This is unfortunate and there are creative ways to cure this problem. Sometimes I’ll meet a friend at a restaurant for breakfast while the Dads take over at home.
Thirdly, I may be guilty of relying too heavily on my husband to meet my emotional needs. In my sincere desire to regard him as my “best friend”, I may have forfeited a healthy balance. Anyone familiar with Dr. James Dobson knows he strongly advocates the notion that women need women and men are simply not equipped to meet our emotional needs.
Thankfully, the past twelve months have found me more freed up inside to make the sacrifices needed to “befriend” my friends more often.
I feel blessed to have on particular friend with whom I enjoy a warm fellowship. We have laughingly remark that we are more like teenage girls than grown women the way we call each other so often. We nurture our relationship that we’ve made a commitment to. We’ll send each other notes and cards from time to time to let each other know we don’t take her for granted. Love of children and music are shared interest and we have strengths where the other has weaknesses. From this friend, I have been encouraged to be the person God intends for me to do. She loves me when I’m miserable to be around and lets me know she loves me anyway. She allows me to “dump” on her and will pray for me faithfully. Somehow this dear friend manages to bring out my good qualities and I have gained confidence. I haven’t noticed how much this relationship has cost me in time and energy, but I know the investment has been well worth it. My family has benefited greatly as well. She is also their friend, and my kids love her too.
Without a doubt this special person has taught me how important friendship really are and how much we women need other women. (Gail Signor)
Thoughts from other Moms:
There are some women who seem to make friends easily and have many good friends. I sometimes wonder why I don’t do that. Actually, I do have many women “friends”- most whom I think of as acquaintances. But there are three women that are truly my friends. Women that I can always count on for anything and that I stay in close touch with. These are the women that spontaneously offer their support when I was on alert to go to Saudi Arabia. I feel very lucky to have such good friends and realize it is much better to have a couple of friends like that than all the acquaintances in the world. (Karen Burnham)
Women friendships are very important. I couldn’t live without girlfriends. THey’re what keep you sane. Who else would understand but another woman? I’ve moved around a lot and I’ve always made sure I found a special friend. I made sure I wasn’t alone. Having my friends around at the birth of my children was very special and important to me. (Marian Honig)
At least once a week I make sure I do something with a friend outside my home. It is hard, but I feel it is important to nurture those relationships, or try to do so. (Angela Massie)
Women friends helps us keep perspective in our own lives. SOmetimes we get too caught up with our family and problems get blown out of proportion. Every problem seems worse until shared with a friend. (Connie Nokes-Roberts)
I find that there are different friends for filling different needs. The “bare-my-soul” friend, the “chat over breakfast” friend; I indistinctly call upon the friend I need. Of course, sometimes they overlap and fill several needs. Friendships take nurturing. A friendship cannot survive without two people making an effort. Maintaining a relationship takes work. (Angela DiCicco)
Encouragement: A publication by Angela DiCicco and Gail Signor