Saying goodbye – a journal while my mom is in hospice care

Saturday, March 31, 2017 It’s Saturday morning, Easter Saturday. My cell phone rings and caller ID shows it’s my older brother, Francis. He rarely calls me. It’s not often that we talk on the phone just to say “hi” or catch up. So I immediately wonder why he’s calling. Over the years, Francis has been the bearer of bad news. In 1986, shortly after I … Continue reading Saying goodbye – a journal while my mom is in hospice care

Ideal Parent….What Does that Mean?

If you are anything like me you have dreamed of being a mother for a very long time.  You thought about what it would be like to raise your children and what you will and will not tolerate.  You some how in your mind created this ideal of the perfect parent.  What you aspire to be. For me that was my mother.  I wanted to … Continue reading Ideal Parent….What Does that Mean?

Mother’s with Postpartum Depression

So just recently I saw something on the news about a woman who drove herself and her 4 children off a bridge and killed everyone.  As the news anchor was talking to parents about the tragedy all the comments were the same.  How could she do that to her children?    What mother would do that?  Man she must have been on something?  I can’t … Continue reading Mother’s with Postpartum Depression

Why Do I feel so Guilty?

The dog was angry at me because I didn’t let him out fast enough.  I couldn’t fly down the steps in enough time to get him so he let me know by leaving an unpleasant present on the kitchen floor.  Meanwhile as I was busy getting ready to visit a friend, 16 month old Kevin spilled his cherry juice on our beige sofa.  I quickly moved … Continue reading Why Do I feel so Guilty?

Going from a Working Mom to a Stay at Home Mom

For the first two years of my son life I was a working mom out of the house.  I went back to work when my son was 8 weeks old.  I will admit I was ready to go back to work, to be my own person, to get dressed up and look professional.  I worked from 6am-2:30 Monday through Friday.  I was blessed with an … Continue reading Going from a Working Mom to a Stay at Home Mom

Insights from a Great- Grandmother

On Monday night, I received 6 joyous blessings: 1)  I watched you play ball – one of my all-time favorite things to do! 2)  I was greeted at the field by a very small pair of open arms, fully  outstretched -( I might as well have been the most decorated VIP in history!)  with the music to my ears, “MaMaMa!!!!!” and a smile on the face of an amazingly … Continue reading Insights from a Great- Grandmother

Insights

I decided early on that we would take a family vacation every summer, no matter what our financial situation was.  We booked inexpensive trips like camping at the Jersey shore or driving to Tennessee and camping nearby so we could go to Dollywood.  We drove to Florida and stayed at an inexpensive condo outside of DisneyWorld.  It lacked the convenience or the “status” of staying … Continue reading Insights

Postpartum Depression

I briefly discussed dealing with  postpartum depression (PPD)before, but little did I know then that I would have it ten times worse with the birth of my second child. I knew something wasn’t right when I was pregnant, when I was getting agitated over the stupidest things.  It only took one dinner, where I threw a 4-year-old tantrum because my husband cooked the potatoes with garlic and onions, to … Continue reading Postpartum Depression