I know I have discussed the Mommy Wars here and here, but I feel once again to touch on this point.
A little history, as you may know I had severe Postpartum Depression after the birth of my daughter in April 2012. It is now 2 years later and I can honestly look back and see that it was a lot worse than what I even thought! During that time I know that other moms didn’t mean to say something that I took so deeply, but in some cases I couldn’t help it and in other cases it could have been said better.
Recently a friend on Facebook posted “Me: “I used a great practice of midwives for my son’s birth.” Other mom: “oh, I couldn’t do that. I really cared about my baby.”” as her status. I was appalled. I know that 2 years ago and even 1 year ago a comment like that would have sent me into a spiral of self-doubt and would have been hard to get out of.
Now that comment was outright rude and judgmental, what about the comments that aren’t so outright. The ones that are like Do YOU discipline your child? as the child is running around in a fit. Or how about the comments like Do YOU EVER give your kids a bath because they always seem to have something all over their face. Those questions were not meant to be hurtful, but to someone who is battling with themselves, they can be even more hurtful.
Please understand that what you say to people can have a good effect and a bad effect on that person. You never really know what people are going through. They only show you what they want you to see.
My suggestion is to be supportive, really try to read the situation. Understand that not everyone does it the same way and what works for you may not work for them. Encourage them to do their own research and not just go based off of what you said.