Positive Parenting is not something that you can fake, it is something that parents have to believe in. You discipline in a gentle and respectful way as opposed to disciplining out of fear. You encourage your children. Parents believe in every opportunity to teach their children instead of punishing them. By teaching them you are helping them develop responsibility, honesty, respect, and confidence. You are able to work with them for a solution to the problem, instead of just telling them what to do.
“Positive parenting, at the very core of it, isn’t about what you can and can’t do in terms of disciplining, teaching, and guiding your kids. It isn’t even about having the perfect relationship (as there will always be breaks and repairs; such is life). It’s not about techniques or tools, whether or not to use time outs or time ins, consequences or problem-solving. All of those things stem from the practice of what is at the very core of this philosophy, but they are not THE philosophy itself. What it’s really about is the way we view children, their emotions, their needs, their motives. It’s about seeing them as human beings, worthy of respect and unconditional love, delicate, impressionable, who have as much to teach us as we have to teach them. When THIS sinks into your heart, the practice of positive parenting naturally flows from it. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (Positive Parents.org)
My mother believed in positive parenting. She believed that children are human and deserve respect. You can discipline a child without putting fear into them. We never had the “Do you want me to get the belt?” question, where we do what she wants out of fear of getting hit. We had an encouraging house where my mother would say, “If you tell me the truth, then I won’t be mad.” and truthfully she wouldn’t. She would be mad if we lied on top of whatever we did. She understood that children are learning and make mistakes. They are testing boundaries and seeing how far they can go.
Children only know what we, as adults, are teaching them. They learn through hearing, seeing and doing. As parents, we need to model the behavior that we expect from our children. We can not expect them to be perfect all the time, even we as adults aren’t. So when we talk to them about the behavior we want, it is just reinforcing the actions we are already taking. For example, have you ever heard the saying “Do as I say, not as I do”? This is a classic example of adults expecting their children to do something that they themselves don’t.
Positive Parents.org is a wonderful website that has great information on positive parenting. I know, I found some great information and some better ways to execute my beliefs!