Saying goodbye – a journal while my mom is in hospice care

Saturday, March 31, 2017 It’s Saturday morning, Easter Saturday. My cell phone rings and caller ID shows it’s my older brother, Francis. He rarely calls me. It’s not often that we talk on the phone just to say “hi” or catch up. So I immediately wonder why he’s calling. Over the years, Francis has been the bearer of bad news. In 1986, shortly after I … Continue reading Saying goodbye – a journal while my mom is in hospice care

Growing up Italian or Not Fitting in.

I’m Italian.  And from the city.  Philadelphia, that is.  I grew up in an Italian neighborhood.  If you’re from New York, you understand.  When I meet someone from Brooklyn or someone brought up in an Italian household, it’s understood.  How we grew up, our experiences, how we operate in the world.  No explanations needed. When you grow up in the city, you have an edge.  You … Continue reading Growing up Italian or Not Fitting in.

“Working” through grief – 7 tips

Recently a dear friend of mine passed away.  It has thrown me for a loop because it was unexpected and she was so young.  So how to I process the grief? Many people throw themselves into their work. This only helps to keep the grief at bay.  It does not help to feel the grief and move through it. I found that I could focus … Continue reading “Working” through grief – 7 tips

How to Help a Friend who is Grieving

Do’s: Let your genuine concern and caring show.  Express your sorrow about the death and acknowledge your friend’s pain.  Remember: sayings something is better than saying nothing. Be available to listen. The grieving person needs to express their thoughts and feelings about what has happened.  They may long for the opportunity to go over all of the events that have occurred and express their feelings of loss. Offer to help … Continue reading How to Help a Friend who is Grieving

For Children Dealing with Death

Protect your children from other people’s advice.  A well-maning relative may say, “You’re the man of the family now,”  to a 7-year-old who is not qualified to fill that role. Consider taking them out of school temporarily.  Some teachers expect “business as usual”  when your child may not be up to it.  After dealing with a death, your child may feel his/her peers are immature or … Continue reading For Children Dealing with Death

For Parents Dealing with Death

If you’ve lost your spouse, try not to make any major decisions for 6 months.  Id you decided to chang your living situation, make sure you are acting from thought rather than emotion. Find a support group or seek out a person in your same situation.  Family and friends cannot understand your needs as well as someone who has already lived through a similar loss. The … Continue reading For Parents Dealing with Death