My husband and I were having a “conversation” recently about an old issue. You know the kind that goes underground for a while and you think it’s no longer an issue. Until a trigger comes up and you realize you still have feelings about this that are not resolved. I wanted to go camping. He didn’t. I broached the subject with him several times and … Continue reading Unilateral Decision Making in Marriage
If you’re like me, when your friend is in need, you want to do something to help but you’re not sure what. In 2017 I had spinal surgery that kept me home for about 9 weeks. The outpouring I received from friends, church groups and family left me feeling so grateful. And gave me some ideas for how to pay it forward. There are plenty … Continue reading 10 things you can do for someone recovering from surgery, the elderly or infirmed.
They’re just a pair of shoes. Bronze sandals with sparkly buckles. They’re comfortable and cute. But that’s not what sets them apart from my other shoes. Whenever I slip into them, I remember that I bought them in a little boutique in Sea Isle, New Jersey 2 years ago when shopping with Angel. We both bought a pair of upscale shoes. She said, “These are … Continue reading Just a pair of shoes
Angel and Angela. Angel and Angela. Angela. I’m still in denial about my friend Angel’s death, the first stage of grief according to Kubler-Ross. She recently passed away from cancer, her third bout. We graduated from high school in 1976. And after that, every time I’d run into someone from the our Philadelphia neighborhood, they would always ask, “How’s Angel?” No matter how much time had … Continue reading Grieving A Lifelong Friendship.
Did you think it would be over? After the funeral? The weekend after my mom died, there was my niece’s wedding. And a trip to Cape May to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. And work. And planning the funeral. My energy poured into planning the funeral, the final thing I would do for my mom. Choosing the songs, the readings. What would mom want? And … Continue reading The grieving – is it ever over?
Someone recently asked about the blog I’d been keeping during the end of mom’s life. She was looking for more posts. I started a few after mom passed but never finished. So I’ll start with today and work backwards now. And my posts may be out of order. But sometimes that’s just the way life is. It doesn’t happen neatly and orderly. Rarely does it … Continue reading I miss my Mom. The First Christmas without her.
The anniversary of my dad’s death is coming up – April 15, 1997.Our family has a history of symmetry. On my parent’s wedding anniversary, September 20, 1962, my Grandmother passed away. Their wedding photo came crashing down from the wall. They never put it up again. Francis reminded me that my grandfather died on December 3, 1971. Five years later, my dad had a heart … Continue reading Part IV Journal of Saying Goodbye to Mom. Soaking up the final moments.
What do you wear to your Mother’s funeral? What dress? Which shoes? It matters. It’s the last time you’ll dress for her. What would she want me to wear? My mother was very particular about what we wore to which event. She taught me to dress well, always wear earrings. She loathed pants in church and once told my daughter to go upstairs and get … Continue reading What do you wear to your Mother’s funeral?
April 3, 2018, Tuesday As I was driving home from visiting Mom (it’s a two hour drive if I don’t stop for a bathroom break and there’s no traffic!) it occurred to me that the end of life mirrors the beginning of life. Life is a parabola. We start out as helpless babies, growing, learning, doing, becoming. We crest – our career, our marriage, our … Continue reading Part VII The End of Life Mirrors the Beginning of Life. My Journey while Mom is in hospice.
Saturday, April 14, 2018 A beautiful sunny day. One of the rare ones we’ve had of late. I spend the weekend at Mom’s facility, wanting as much time with her as I can.Most of the time, Mom sleeps. But each time I sit on the edge of her bed, she rouses and looks up at me. This time she reaches her arm around my neck … Continue reading Saying Goodbye to Mom in Hospice Part VI – Mom’s Hanging on!