Have you received gifts after a loved one has died? Gifts from beyond the grave? I didn’t know I needed them, but my mother’s coat and her handbag touch me. Continue reading Gifts from beyond the Grave
The anniversary of my dad’s death is coming up – April 15, 1997.Our family has a history of symmetry. On my parent’s wedding anniversary, September 20, 1962, my Grandmother passed away. Their wedding photo came crashing down from the wall. They never put it up again. Francis reminded me that my grandfather died on December 3, 1971. Five years later, my dad had a heart … Continue reading Part IV Journal of Saying Goodbye to Mom. Soaking up the final moments.
What do you wear to your Mother’s funeral? What dress? Which shoes? It matters. It’s the last time you’ll dress for her. What would she want me to wear? My mother was very particular about what we wore to which event. She taught me to dress well, always wear earrings. She loathed pants in church and once told my daughter to go upstairs and get … Continue reading What do you wear to your Mother’s funeral?
Friday, April 13, 2018 I am at the supermarket getting food to hold me over for the weekend while I visit Mom in Lancaster PA. This amazing grocery store is right down the road from her facility. I need quick things I can pop in the microwave. Food that is simple and not messy. I drop fresh pulled pork and homemade pork and beans into … Continue reading Meanderings – A trip to the grocery store Part V – Sharing my journey while Mom is in hospice
How much time? How much time is left to hear my mom say my name? To see her eyes light up when she sees me?Have a appreciated her enough? Was I able to overcome her weakness and humanity and love her enough? Accept her?How many more hugs? Kisses? How many more times will her eyes look at me? The brown eyes, so much like mine, now … Continue reading Saying goodbye – Part III How much time? My journal while my mom is in hospice care.
Easter Sunday.2018 Easter is my favorite holiday. Usually spring has arrived bringing warm weather and blooming flowers. Mom was born in spring and she told me her mother used to buy an egg-shaped cake for her birthday. When we celebrated Mom’s birthday or Easter together, which sometimes coincided, I would buy one of those cakes for her. This year I enjoy a joyful celebration Mass … Continue reading Saying Goodbye to Mom in hospice- Part II
Saturday, March 31, 2017 It’s Saturday morning, Easter Saturday. My cell phone rings and caller ID shows it’s my older brother, Francis. He rarely calls me. It’s not often that we talk on the phone just to say “hi” or catch up. So I immediately wonder why he’s calling. Over the years, Francis has been the bearer of bad news. In 1986, shortly after I … Continue reading Saying goodbye – a journal while my mom is in hospice care
Recently a dear friend of mine passed away. It has thrown me for a loop because it was unexpected and she was so young. So how to I process the grief? Many people throw themselves into their work. This only helps to keep the grief at bay. It does not help to feel the grief and move through it. I found that I could focus … Continue reading “Working” through grief – 7 tips
Do’s: Let your genuine concern and caring show. Express your sorrow about the death and acknowledge your friend’s pain. Remember: sayings something is better than saying nothing. Be available to listen. The grieving person needs to express their thoughts and feelings about what has happened. They may long for the opportunity to go over all of the events that have occurred and express their feelings of loss. Offer to help … Continue reading How to Help a Friend who is Grieving
Protect your children from other people’s advice. A well-maning relative may say, “You’re the man of the family now,” to a 7-year-old who is not qualified to fill that role. Consider taking them out of school temporarily. Some teachers expect “business as usual” when your child may not be up to it. After dealing with a death, your child may feel his/her peers are immature or … Continue reading For Children Dealing with Death