The grieving – is it ever over?

Did you think it would be over? After the funeral? The weekend after my mom died, there was my niece’s wedding. And a trip to Cape May to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. And work. And planning the funeral. My energy poured into planning the funeral, the final thing I would do for my mom. Choosing the songs, the readings. What would mom want? And … Continue reading The grieving – is it ever over?

What do you wear to your Mother’s funeral?

What do you wear to your Mother’s funeral? What dress? Which shoes? It matters. It’s the last time you’ll dress for her. What would she want me to wear? My mother was very particular about what we wore to which event. She taught me to dress well, always wear earrings. She loathed pants in church and once told my daughter to go upstairs and get … Continue reading What do you wear to your Mother’s funeral?

Part VII The End of Life Mirrors the Beginning of Life. My Journey while Mom is in hospice.

April 3, 2018, Tuesday As I was driving home from visiting Mom (it’s a two hour drive if I don’t stop for a bathroom break and there’s no traffic!) it occurred to me that the end of life mirrors the beginning of life. Life is a parabola. We start out as helpless babies, growing, learning, doing, becoming. We crest – our career, our marriage, our … Continue reading Part VII The End of Life Mirrors the Beginning of Life. My Journey while Mom is in hospice.

Meanderings – A trip to the grocery store Part V – Sharing my journey while Mom is in hospice

Friday, April 13, 2018 I am at the supermarket getting food to hold me over for the weekend while I  visit Mom in Lancaster PA. This amazing grocery store is right down the road from her facility. I need quick things I can pop in the microwave. Food that is simple and not messy. I drop fresh pulled pork and homemade pork and beans into … Continue reading Meanderings – A trip to the grocery store Part V – Sharing my journey while Mom is in hospice

Saying goodbye – Part III How much time? My journal while my mom is in hospice care.

How much time? How much time is left to hear my mom say  my name? To see her eyes light up when she sees me?Have a appreciated her enough? Was I able to overcome her weakness and humanity and love her enough? Accept her?How many more hugs? Kisses? How many more times will her eyes look at me? The brown eyes, so much like mine, now … Continue reading Saying goodbye – Part III How much time? My journal while my mom is in hospice care.

Saying Goodbye to Mom in hospice- Part II

Easter Sunday.2018 Easter is my favorite holiday. Usually spring has arrived bringing warm weather and blooming flowers. Mom was born in spring and she told me her mother used to buy an egg-shaped cake for her birthday. When we celebrated Mom’s birthday or Easter together, which sometimes coincided, I would buy one of those cakes for her. This year I enjoy a joyful celebration Mass … Continue reading Saying Goodbye to Mom in hospice- Part II

Saying goodbye – a journal while my mom is in hospice care

Saturday, March 31, 2017 It’s Saturday morning, Easter Saturday. My cell phone rings and caller ID shows it’s my older brother, Francis. He rarely calls me. It’s not often that we talk on the phone just to say “hi” or catch up. So I immediately wonder why he’s calling. Over the years, Francis has been the bearer of bad news. In 1986, shortly after I … Continue reading Saying goodbye – a journal while my mom is in hospice care