A child experiences stress in everyday situations and because he can not verbalize what he is feeling, he may “act-up”. Tantrums, fighting, and withdrawl may all be a child’s cry for relief from stress. The following lists some everyday stresses children may go throguh as well as some “do-able” solutions which can relieve the children’s tension and frustration.
Habutually Being Late:
- Emotion: Embarrassment, Shyness when walking into class that has started, Frustration
- Reaction: Crying, Yelling at Parents, Irritable
- Solution: Set clocks ahead 15 minutes. Be aware that being late affects everyone involved. Be sensitive and respect your child’s desire to be “on-time”. As a parent, commit to heing “on-time”.
No Clean Clothes:
- Emotion: Embarrassment, Frustration, Powerlessess
- Reaction: Crying, Yelling at Parents
- Solution: Child can check his clothing at night and inform parents if he needs anything. A child as young as 8 can learn to do his own wash.
- Emotion: Fear of not being found, Fear of parents’ being angry, embarrassment
- Reaction: Panicked, Cryng, Clingly-when found
- Solutions: Tahc your child to be aware of her surroundsing while in public places; point out sighns, stores, etc. Choose a meeting place “just in case” you become spearated. Tell a small child to stnad still until you come to her.
Being Teased/ Picked on by other siblings:
- Emotion: Anger, Embarrassment, Overwhelmed, Inadequate
- Reaction: Acting-up, Low self-esteem, Aggressiveness, Crying
- Solution: Help your child to accept who he is by telling him, “This is how you were made; you are wonderful just as you are and things people say can’t change that.” Teach your child to ignore comments; emotional reactions encourage the “teasers”. Role-play the situation with your child. Encourage respect among siblings. Encourage your child to talk about his feelings. Acknowledge your child’s pain
Too Many Activities:
- Emotion: Overwhelmed, Frustration
- Reaction: Tired, Irritable, Talking back, Listless, Resistance
- Solution: Limit the numebr of extracurricular activities. Help your child to focus on 1 or 2 activities. A child needs balance between sports, the arts, and fun.
- Emotion: Fear of the unknown, Shyness
- Reaction: Clingy, Whiny, Uncooperative
- Solution: Prepare your child for a new sitter, day care, etc.- tell him who he will be with and when you will be back. Avoid scolding or labeling yoru child bout feeling shy. This has a “negative” connotation and “stamps” that label to your child. Being shy is a feeling–it’s not who your child is. Be enthusiastic and positive about going to dentists, doctors, etc. Do not put your own fears onto your child.
Child being Rushed:
- Emotion: Overwhelmed, Inadequacy
- Reaction: Become “frozen”, Uncooperative, Yelling at Parents
- Solution: Give your child “notice”. Recognize that it takes your child longer to complete a task you’ve been doing for years. Allow child to work at her own pace. Be Patient.
- Emotion: Anger, Embarrassment, low self-esteem
- Reaction: Frustration, Yelling at Parents, Withdrawl
- Solution: Encourage your child to write you a nore when he need things. Post the note on a bulletin board or refriderator. Write information on calendar. Teach your child to look at the calender each day.
Encouragement: A publication by Angela DiCicco and Gail Signor